Worth the Wait
As a Christian, especially as a new
believer, we have this mindset that once we have a relationship with God
that He will instantly show us our future spouse. Then following a short amount
of time, we will get married and live happily ever after. Rarely does finding a
spouse happen this way, and this leaves many Christians wondering where their
spouse is; and if God has forgotten about them.
About four years ago I was guilty of having those same thoughts, thinking God had forgotten about me and that I would never be in a good relationship; let alone ever get married. What I had to learn, and what many believers are learning, is often times there is a waiting process involved for God to bring that special person into our lives. That process also involves making sure that you and your future spouse is ready, both spiritually and mentally, before even meeting each other. So today, I'm here to tell you that the special person God has for you is worth the wait. Please don't ever feel the need to rush ahead of God by trying to fill the space of who God has for you with a temporary fling that will only last for a season. I urge you to come to the realization that you are worth the wait, the person God has for you is worth the wait, and that both of you is wonderfully made by our creator, God.
As I mentioned earlier, I too have been so guilty of rushing ahead of God trying to fill the void of such things; such as low self-confidence, loneliness, the desire to be accepted, and the love that I should have been showing to God by being in relationships and liking boys that I had no business even being around. However, at this time I knew of God and who He was, but my relationship with God was lacking and superficial. I had no idea when He was telling me someone was not good for me, because I didn't know God's voice. It wasn't until I had been through some tough times and heart breaks that I told myself, and God, that enough was enough and that I was committed to living for God and truly knowing who He is. It was in those moments I began to study God's word, listen to worship music, attend church regularly, and listen to sermons in my spare time. I threw away the old things such as hanging out with certain people, and I told God I would wait for the man that He has for me and not waste my time with temporary guys. I also told God that if it was just Him and me for the rest of my life, that I was happy with that too. I was at that point where all I just wanted Him, and this is when I began to know God for who He truly is. It was also at this point that I threw away my old self, and as a result, my self-confidence soared, my feelings of loneliness and guilt from past sins were gone, and I was truly growing into the women God needed me to be in order for God to bring my future husband. It was also in these growing moments that I not only truly realized my worth, but that my future husband was worth the wait as well.
It's important to know that how God brought my husband won't be the same for everyone as God works in mysterious and numerous ways. Even more important, is that no matter the situation you’re in, or your relationship status, you must get into God's word to know who He really is and to realize that God is your first husband and your true commitment is to Him. "For your Creator will be your husband; the Lord of Heaven’s Armies is his name! He is your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel, the God of all the earth;" Isaiah 54:5. Start treating God as your one and only and give your heart and soul to Him. It may sound lame to some but when I was single, and even now as a married woman, I have date days with God. These are times where I shut off from the world and intentionally give my all to God. I'll go to coffee shops and read God's word or listen to sermons. I'll even go get food from my favorite restaurant, come back home and spend time with God just enjoying His presence. It's in these moments we come to know God's plan for our life, as He makes revelations to us, and that may include our future spouse He has for us.
Another aspect of the waiting process for who God has designed for us is learning and knowing the difference between dating the worldly way, and "courting," which is relationships done God's way. Dating the way of the world involves premarital sex, it has no spiritual components to it, and if you are a believer it has a tendency to bring you down and prevent growth. Dating God's way, by courting, revolves around the two of you enabling each other to strengthen their personal relationship with God, growing closer to Him. As both of you put God first and grow closer to Him, it usually results in the two of you growing closer because both of you know how God would have you treat one another. Courting also means that you wait to have sex, which goes against dating the world’s way 100%. I can tell you from personal experience that my husband’s relationship with God was a big factor in me starting my relationship with him. In the beginning of us getting to know each other, I talked about God a whole lot. I wanted to pick his brain and see where he was spiritually, and if he truly believed in God or was just telling me he did. Those times of us talking about God and simply putting Him first in our friendship, then relationship, helped me know that this man is who God designed for me. This made being in a relationship God's way with him possible.
The topic of the differences between dating and courting also brings up the fact that we must have standards, and even deal breakers, when it comes to allowing being in a relationship. Before I met my husband, and even during our time of getting to know each other, I knew that if he didn't believe in God or wasn't willing to wait for marriage to have sex that he wasn’t the man God had for me. So I challenge you to sit down and think about your deal breakers and the standards that you will have in your future relationships. God also encourages you to have standards in a relationships and to not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. In 2 Corinthians 6:14 it states, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” Thus, I urge you to have those standards and deal breakers, don't just be with the first person that shows you attention. Wait on the Lord, and He will fill all of your needs and desires with what He knows is best for us.
And so I encourage you to have faith in God, that He will fulfill your desires for a godly relationship and marriage that reflects His image. Trust God and the individual process that He has for your life and everything will work out for your good (Romans 8:28). Recognize and realize that God knows what is best for your life, and do not lean on your own understanding of what you believe to be best for your life (Proverbs 3:5-6). Wait patiently for God to bring your future spouse, and know that the waiting process is so worth it (Psalm 27:14). Pray to God, asking Him to lead you in the way that you should go and to help you and your future spouse become the people that you need to be for God, and also for each other. Also don't be afraid or feel silly praying for your future spouse. I would pray for my now husband before I even had any idea who he was, and now in this very early season of our marriage I still pray for him. I know that the process and the purpose God has for your life will be worth the wait, as God is so incredible and His work goes far beyond what I can imagine.
I challenge you to stay committed to God and also to yourself, to not fill your future spouse’s spot with a temporary fling, and to grow closer to God. You’re worth it, and so is your future spouse.
About four years ago I was guilty of having those same thoughts, thinking God had forgotten about me and that I would never be in a good relationship; let alone ever get married. What I had to learn, and what many believers are learning, is often times there is a waiting process involved for God to bring that special person into our lives. That process also involves making sure that you and your future spouse is ready, both spiritually and mentally, before even meeting each other. So today, I'm here to tell you that the special person God has for you is worth the wait. Please don't ever feel the need to rush ahead of God by trying to fill the space of who God has for you with a temporary fling that will only last for a season. I urge you to come to the realization that you are worth the wait, the person God has for you is worth the wait, and that both of you is wonderfully made by our creator, God.
As I mentioned earlier, I too have been so guilty of rushing ahead of God trying to fill the void of such things; such as low self-confidence, loneliness, the desire to be accepted, and the love that I should have been showing to God by being in relationships and liking boys that I had no business even being around. However, at this time I knew of God and who He was, but my relationship with God was lacking and superficial. I had no idea when He was telling me someone was not good for me, because I didn't know God's voice. It wasn't until I had been through some tough times and heart breaks that I told myself, and God, that enough was enough and that I was committed to living for God and truly knowing who He is. It was in those moments I began to study God's word, listen to worship music, attend church regularly, and listen to sermons in my spare time. I threw away the old things such as hanging out with certain people, and I told God I would wait for the man that He has for me and not waste my time with temporary guys. I also told God that if it was just Him and me for the rest of my life, that I was happy with that too. I was at that point where all I just wanted Him, and this is when I began to know God for who He truly is. It was also at this point that I threw away my old self, and as a result, my self-confidence soared, my feelings of loneliness and guilt from past sins were gone, and I was truly growing into the women God needed me to be in order for God to bring my future husband. It was also in these growing moments that I not only truly realized my worth, but that my future husband was worth the wait as well.
It's important to know that how God brought my husband won't be the same for everyone as God works in mysterious and numerous ways. Even more important, is that no matter the situation you’re in, or your relationship status, you must get into God's word to know who He really is and to realize that God is your first husband and your true commitment is to Him. "For your Creator will be your husband; the Lord of Heaven’s Armies is his name! He is your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel, the God of all the earth;" Isaiah 54:5. Start treating God as your one and only and give your heart and soul to Him. It may sound lame to some but when I was single, and even now as a married woman, I have date days with God. These are times where I shut off from the world and intentionally give my all to God. I'll go to coffee shops and read God's word or listen to sermons. I'll even go get food from my favorite restaurant, come back home and spend time with God just enjoying His presence. It's in these moments we come to know God's plan for our life, as He makes revelations to us, and that may include our future spouse He has for us.
Another aspect of the waiting process for who God has designed for us is learning and knowing the difference between dating the worldly way, and "courting," which is relationships done God's way. Dating the way of the world involves premarital sex, it has no spiritual components to it, and if you are a believer it has a tendency to bring you down and prevent growth. Dating God's way, by courting, revolves around the two of you enabling each other to strengthen their personal relationship with God, growing closer to Him. As both of you put God first and grow closer to Him, it usually results in the two of you growing closer because both of you know how God would have you treat one another. Courting also means that you wait to have sex, which goes against dating the world’s way 100%. I can tell you from personal experience that my husband’s relationship with God was a big factor in me starting my relationship with him. In the beginning of us getting to know each other, I talked about God a whole lot. I wanted to pick his brain and see where he was spiritually, and if he truly believed in God or was just telling me he did. Those times of us talking about God and simply putting Him first in our friendship, then relationship, helped me know that this man is who God designed for me. This made being in a relationship God's way with him possible.
The topic of the differences between dating and courting also brings up the fact that we must have standards, and even deal breakers, when it comes to allowing being in a relationship. Before I met my husband, and even during our time of getting to know each other, I knew that if he didn't believe in God or wasn't willing to wait for marriage to have sex that he wasn’t the man God had for me. So I challenge you to sit down and think about your deal breakers and the standards that you will have in your future relationships. God also encourages you to have standards in a relationships and to not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. In 2 Corinthians 6:14 it states, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” Thus, I urge you to have those standards and deal breakers, don't just be with the first person that shows you attention. Wait on the Lord, and He will fill all of your needs and desires with what He knows is best for us.
And so I encourage you to have faith in God, that He will fulfill your desires for a godly relationship and marriage that reflects His image. Trust God and the individual process that He has for your life and everything will work out for your good (Romans 8:28). Recognize and realize that God knows what is best for your life, and do not lean on your own understanding of what you believe to be best for your life (Proverbs 3:5-6). Wait patiently for God to bring your future spouse, and know that the waiting process is so worth it (Psalm 27:14). Pray to God, asking Him to lead you in the way that you should go and to help you and your future spouse become the people that you need to be for God, and also for each other. Also don't be afraid or feel silly praying for your future spouse. I would pray for my now husband before I even had any idea who he was, and now in this very early season of our marriage I still pray for him. I know that the process and the purpose God has for your life will be worth the wait, as God is so incredible and His work goes far beyond what I can imagine.
I challenge you to stay committed to God and also to yourself, to not fill your future spouse’s spot with a temporary fling, and to grow closer to God. You’re worth it, and so is your future spouse.
With
Love,
Courtney
Neal
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